AN OPEN LETTER TO WILLIAM D. FORD FEDERAL DIRECT LOAN REPAYMENT PROGRAM

As with the prior iteration of your site, I would forget my four-digit pin as often as I would forget to conduct a breast self-exam. Thus, I appreciate that your site now allows a password that is not government-issued.

I noticed, however, that your site now offers an array of new password hint questions. NAME OF YOUR FIRST PET is no longer a menu item, so I elected to check the box next to NAME OF FIRSTPERSON EVER KISSED.

At first I could not understand the relationship between teenage pecks and student loans, but then I realized that both had a great deal to do with miscalculation.